Torrey DeVitto to Guest Star on Major Crimes

Torrey DeVitto is headed to TNT.

The actress, best known for recent roles on Army Wives, Pretty Little Liars and The Vampire Diaries, will will guest star on an upcoming installment of Major Crimes Season 3 as the daughter of Tony Dennison’s Andy Flynn.

Torrey DeVitto Promo Pic

According to TV Line, DeVitto will appear on the December 8 episode (titled “Acting Out”) as Nicole Flynn, a character outlined as humorous, professional and endearing.

Look for Flynn’s offspring to think her father is dating Captain Raydor and for this to lead to a “paranoid freak out” for Flynn, accordiong to series creator James Duff.

Major Crimes will return to the later this year and DeVitto will actually play a role in the opening sequence of CBS’ Stalker premiere this month.

TV Fanatic


Durham, North Carolina, to New York City, September 1, 2014

by Tom Scocca

??? Mist gathered on the windshield of the car and trickled up it in the darkness. The wipers swept it clear and it accumulated again. Orion and Sirius were up in the sky. Off to the left, down low, the sky was beginning to lighten. It grew brighter on one side of the air terminal, ever-lighter blue streaked with lilac. The lilac turned bright pink, then pale pink. Beyond the parking garage, swirls of orange and purple were forming. Out the water-streaked window of the shabby old regional jet, white edges started to show. The plane taxied past what looked like the previous night's unused plane, then cleared the end of the building, and the sun itself came into view. It had an unpleasant brown tint to it. The engines pushed; the condensation streamed away; the plane rose. Pines receded in a blurry haze. The raw pink earth of a nascent subdivision passed below. Now the sky around was striated in Greek-restaurant blues and whites. Far away to the east were near-vertical cumulus formations, towers or sugarloaf mountains. The sun was clean white and warm against the cold unchecked blasts from the broken overhead air conditioner valve. A pebbly layer of clouds slid under the plane, and then a lumpy thick one, a landscape of unreal hills, cliffs, a river delta. And past that, in the far middle distance: a whole metropolis, a Manhattan of blocky phantom buildings crowded together, stretching on and on. It lasted till the plane banked and descended through blank gray, then on through layers on layers of clouds, a napoleon of light and shadow, till there was a glimpse of solid prosaic cul-de-sac landscape below. Then there were city roofs, rectangles shining within rectangles, and waters speckled with sailboats, and then as the silhouette of the plane crossed an apartment tower, the distant hazy outline of the actual Manhattan. From the ground, the only sign of the extravagances overhead was one ragged ivory mass, under mundane-looking cirrus. The deep freeze of the M60 bus opened out onto a hot stench of garbage. The morning streets were quiet. A white pigeon, flecked with a few spots of black, strolled on the bricks outside the apartment building. By midday more clouds had gathered. The two-year-old was a little disheveled in his swing on the playground. In the Gray's Papaya it was stifling enough to raise a sweat. The clouds kept moving through the afternoon, piling up, turning lovely purples and golds by dinnertime, as the seven-year-old spotted rocket ships and passengers in their shapes. Out in the dusk, an airplane flying medium-high over Amsterdam Avenue clipped the bottom of one low cloud and for a moment its shape grew indistinct, while its lights solidified into a yellow fan. A moon just shy of the first quarter stood above the ballet theater as Eugene Onegin played on the screen on the opera house, to an audience completely filling the plaza. Body odor wafted from the seats. The seven-year-old stood to the side and ate gelato and listened to the music; the two-year-old ate gelato and looked at the screen and pointed out when an airplane passed.

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Battle Of The Blowhards: Howie Kurtz And Stephen Colbert

Battle Of The Blowhards: Howie Kurtz And Stephen Colbert

Someone seems to be just a tiny bit touchy these days. Perhaps Howie is worried that his own pomposity will be less laughable after Colbert leaves?

I guess Howie didn’t care for Colbert’s skewering of his idiotic claim that Ferguson wouldn’t have been a big deal if the media hadn’t been there. In response to Colbert, Howie said, “I hope you will be safe when you have to get in front of the camera at The Late Show and survive as yourself after dropping your protective cloak as a pompous blowhard.”

Oh, Howie. You’re one blowhard short of a sense of humor.


Latest from Crooks and Liars

5 Simple Man-to-Man Rules About How To Accord Yourself Around Women

Do you guys remember the White House’s public service announcement on sexual assault? It involved several male celebrities asking other men not to sexually assault women because studies showed that men were much more likely to listen to other men than they were to women.

Remember this tweet from back in May?

There’s something truly bizarre and awful about the idea that there is a grain of truth to this idea. And yet we know that — for some men — there is something to this line of thought, isn’t there?

Now, I command very little respect, and on most matters, people should never listen to me. But in the off chance that you are a man and you lack common sense or a moral compass, and you need another man to guide you through the dos and dont’s of how to engage with women, I thought I’d offer five very simple rules every man should follow.

All of these things seem very obvious but judging from real-life events in the last several weeks, some men have a very difficult time grasping the obvious. I should also add that these are not at all inclusive — just a broad overview of what NOT to do when you’re in the company of a woman.

Do Not Hit Women — Are you in an action movie? Are you being clobbered to death by a villainess? Is she played by Gina Carano? If you answered “Yes” to these questions (good for you!), then it may be OK to hit a woman. If you answered no, then please do not hit, kick, punch, bite, slap, or otherwise commit an act of violence against any woman. Ever. Even if you’re drunk. Even if you think she deserves it. Hitting a woman does not make you more of a man. It makes you a small, cowardly shriveled scrotum of a human being.

Do Not Have Sex with a Woman without Her Consent — You’re a smart guy, figure out what consent means. Here’s a few clues: If she’s passed out, unconscious, or inebriated beyond the capacity to give consent, then you do not have permission, even if she’s wearing a really sexy blouse. If she says no, that also means you cannot have sex with her, even if you think her skirt is saying yes. It is not. Skirts do not speak. Mouths do. If she resists, stop immediately, bro. If there is any uncertainty in your mind about whether it is OK to have sex with her, just ask. If she says no, step off. If she says yes, but then changes her mind, step the f*ck back. This isn’t a Final Jeopardy Answer. She’s allowed to change her mind.

Guess who is going to think more of you if you rape a woman? NO ONE. Other men will not look up to you. Other men will not be impressed with you. Other men will not give you a high five. They will be repulsed by your actions. They will think less of you. You will lose their respect. They will think you should be in prison because you should be in prison.

Do Not Slip a Woman an Intoxicant without Her Consent — Roofies. Ecstasy. Spiked drinks. None of these things are acceptable without consent, and it’s unlikely that any woman will provide it. If they want some fucking Ecstasy, put it in their hand and let them swallow it themselves. Do not attempt to intoxicate a woman in order to have sex with her (or for any reason). That’s criminal and repulsive and morally repugnant. No one will be impressed if you managed to sleep with a woman on the first date if you did it through dishonest means. See also: DO NOT RAPE.

Do Not Catcall — Despite what Doree Lewak thinks, err on the side of NEVER CATCALLING except at a cat. It IS OK to find a woman attractive. It is OK to think about your attraction. It is even OK to speak to an attractive woman. It is not, however, OK to yell sexually suggestive things at her on the street. She is a person. She’s not your goddamn television.

Do Not Make Sexism All About You — Courtney covered this in depth a few months ago, but in case you didn’t read it because she’s a woman and you only listen to other men, let me reiterate: You do not need to interject yourself into a woman’s experience. If she’s experienced something, you do not need to point out that you are not personally responsible for it. No one gives a shit. This is not about you. This is about her and her experiences.

Let me put it another way: Imagine that every time you came down with flu, instead of listening to your concerns and/or taking care of you, your mother, or your wife, or your girlfriend, or your sister, or your co-worker said to you, “Oh, I feel sick, too” or “I also think I’m coming down with something,” or “I was so sick last week.” Is that something you want to hear? Of course not. You want them to shut-up and listen to your grievances and maybe bring you a bowl of soup.

When a woman complains about misogyny or sexism or inequality, it’s because it is something they are experiencing and they want to have their concerns validated. Do you understand what that means, Timmy? What they do not want is to have you compare their situation to a completely unrelated situation in your own life. Or for you to say, “Well, I’m not like that, at all. Not all men are assholes!” No one disputes that (except maybe this woman), but it is also beside the point. The point is, some men are assholes. Those are the people she is talking about.

Got it? Good. If so, please tell all your other male friends.

Pajiba

Sex Toy Test Drive: Lelo’s Remote-Controlled Rotating Couple’s Massager

sex-toy-test-drive---lelo

I’m grateful — no, thrilled — to live in the golden era of vibrators. We have vibrators for clitoral stimulation, we have vibrators for your G-spot, we have vibrators you can fit inside your purse, we have vibrators you can use in the shower — just about anything you want a vibrator to do (except do your taxes), you can. It’s really one of the better parts of being a woman in 2014. That and indoor plumbing.

But just because a vibrator can do something doesn’t mean it should. That was my takeaway from Lelo’s new toy the Ida, the world’s first rotating and vibrating couple’s massager.

The Ida comes in two parts: a remote control (shaped like a flying saucer) and the rotating vibrator itself (shaped like an apostrophe). Both pieces are made from waterproof silicone and come in purple, pink or black. The rotating body of the vibrator slides inside your vagina like a small purple dildo; you rest the top of the vibe on the outside of your body, over your outer labia. Then you’re supposed to use the remote control to operate the whole thing. When we first operated the rotating head of the Ida (outside of my body to start) with the remote control, my husband whispered to me, “It looks like it’s alive.” And indeed, it does.

I am a woman of simple pleasures. This is not something I knew about myself until Ida’s eight “stimulation” settings hella confused me and my husband. We spent a good 15 minutes or so testing each of the settings, two of which were motion sensitive — i.e. you can control the intensity of the vibrations based on what direction you hold the remote and how hard you shake it — until we finally referred to Dr. Google for clarity. I’ve never had to refer to a YouTube video to figure out how to use a vibrator before:

We coated the dildo-shaped part of the Ida with my favorite lube (Booty Parlor Add Magic) and slid it inside me. Placing the external part of the Ida atop my labia took a little finessing; perhaps the toy is supposed to rest there naturally, but I had to hold it in place with my fingers. I think the outer part was supposed to rest atop my clit while it vibrated, but mine couldn’t reach that far. (I think my clit is really high up? New thing to be paranoid about?)

My husband manned the remote control to try the different rotation and vibration settings inside me. I could feel the head of the Ida rotating inside me, where it was supposed to be stimulating my G-spot. (It didn’t.) Maybe his previous comment that “It looks like it’s alive” was stuck in my brain, but I couldn’t get over the fact that something was moving inside my body without a human being attached to it.

It’s not a feeling that I enjoyed, at all.

But I committed to testing the Ida, so test it we did — we tried all the settings, including the SenseMotion technology-activated ones. It’s definitely a cool toy … but eventually I asked my husband whether he minded if I pulled the Ida out of myself and used it externally as a clitoral vibe. Alas, it didn’t work so well as a clitoral vibe either; I tend to orgasm best with a small concentrated vibration against me. After a disappointing minute or two, we forlornly placed the Ida in the “to wash” pile and scavenged my trusty bullet vibe from the goodie drawer. That did the trick.

[Lelo: Ida]

Email me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter.

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